Eight Years

Joseph My Heart,

We've been married eight years. I was trying to think of what I could do to celebrate

There was that year I took non-stop photos and documented The Many Faces of J. That was fun.

I decided to do something similar.

This was a hard year. I'm not going to go into why here. Some things are personal. But we came through.

I wanted to document all of the reasons I love you. I started this summer.

June 9, 2014

Today I wasn’t feeling well. I haven’t been able to hear out of my ear all day. I have a headache and cramps. You offered to give me a neck massage. You asked if I was feeling better. You asked if there was anything you could do for me. You looked at me with concern in your eyes.

You make me feel precious and loved.

June 10, 2014

You scooped me a bowl of ice cream. When you handed it to me, you told me that you scooped it with love. When we sat on the couch to watch Big Bang Theory, you scratched my back, because you know I love it when you do that.

June 19, 2014

Today we planned my birthday cruise. I sat next to you while you put a spreadsheet together to calculate the costs of the different trips we are considering. You looked at me and asked if I needed my blanket. I knew all I had to do was say the word and you would go get it for me.

I was feeling a little crabby. Reading a book will do that to me – I don’t like to be torn away. You give me a hug and kiss my forehead and say sweet things to me instead of telling me to quit being a grump. You are so sweet to me that it prompts me to apologize. You make me a better person.

June 26, 2014

We were discussing mentoring a foster child, which could potentially lead to fostering a child and maybe even adopting. I asked if you wanted us to have a baby of our own. You said you didn’t care. I said I didn’t know if you wanted a little piece of yourself. You said that doesn’t matter. You thought about it and said you wouldn’t mind a little piece of me. I started getting teary eyed, thinking it was such a nice thing to say, then you grinned and wiggled your eyebrows and said, “I meant that sexually.”

June 27, 2014

We went to Yellowstone. I didn’t realize it was so cold. I would have been miserable if you hadn’t insisted on bringing a blanket along for me.

June 28, 2014

J: I twee-twooed you.

Me: Twee-twoo?

J: Yeah. I can’t whistle so that’s the sound that whistle makes.

July 2, 2014

Today I had a problem with my computer. As always, you dropped what you were doing to help me. And you fixed it. You are brilliant. Then when we were making plans to leave, I asked if you didn’t mind driving Marcus, my truck. You said the following:

Why would I mind? I don’t mind driving your truck. No, actually, I consider it an honor.

You make me laugh.

July 14, 2014

Today you made me a tuna melt for dinner. And you carved a heart in it.

July 16, 2014

Today I was at work and you offered to take me out to lunch. I love that you want to send time with me. After lunch you walked me to my truck and held my hand. I liked it.

July 19, 2014

We went to the gym. I watched you do a couple pull-ups.

Thanks for being so sexy.

Today I dragged you to an antiques store. I found a cabinet that I was pretty sure I loved, but it didn’t really have the storage space I was looking for. After a conversation listing pros and cons, to include “utils of happiness,” you encouraged me to buy the cabinet.

July 22, 2014

I finished a book today that, while it had a happy ending, it had some sad parts, which made me feel a little melancholy. I found you at your desk and asked for some ice cream and a cuddle. Then I noticed that you were working and I asked if I should leave you alone. You looked at me in that earnest way you have and told me that I am more important and that you were always here for me when I need you.

July 30, 2014

I wasn’t feeling well today. You are always so sweet and make sure to ask me if you can do anything for me. Makes me feel bad for calling you a sissy when you are sick.

August 13, 2014

We got into a pretty big fight yesterday. You knew I was still upset so you spent a lot of time texting me.

One time awhile back I told you about my favorite America’s Funniest Home Video. The guy was in a bowling alley so my first reaction was, “Pfft. This guy is going to drop his ball, or fall, or do some other typical bowling alley type embarrassing thing.” So my expectations were pretty low. Guy managed to roll his ball down the lane. It did not go in the gutter. He actually made a strike. OK, so then I thought, “He must get excited and do a dance and fall down.” His friend walked up for a high five and HIT HIM IN THE FACE. Oh, I was not expecting that. I laughed until I cried. The guy made a strike and then got slapped. Hahaha sucker. I had tried to find the clip on youtube so I could watch it and laugh but I couldn’t.

You found the clip and texted it to me. When I asked how long it took you to find it, you told me 20 minutes.

I appreciate the effort you go to when you’re trying to get yourself out of the doghouse.

August 15, 2014

Today you were dropping me off back at work after picking me up for lunch. You told me you would get my door for me. So you rolled your window down and then walked to my side. I told you thank you for rolling your window down, since you left your keys in the ignition.

We both remember that fateful day when you locked your keys in the car and we had to wait an hour in the heat for the locksmith to come.

You told me you only do it because I asked you to. All those years ago. And you still remember.

Plus you opened my door for me, so that was extra Gentleman Points.

August 27, 2014

I flew home from MN today. I was gone for a few days for a work trip. You picked me up at the airport and had such a big grin. You were so excited to see me. I had to work a bit, but after that you asked what I wanted to do that night. I told you I wanted to go look at paint for my redecorating project. You told me that before we do that, we needed to go shopping and find an accent piece before we looked at paint

WHAT! You want to go shopping?? Aw yisss.

We went shopping. We didn’t find an accent piece, but it was so nice being with you, and knowing you were doing something you didn’t really want to do, but you wanted to make me happy.

I teasingly asked if you were being nice to me because you felt guilty about doing something bad while I was gone. You looked at me with sincerity and said you had missed me. My heart melted.

September 6, 2014

We were at dinner in CA on our LA trip. A commercial came on for flipping houses and you scoffed, said it was a scam. You said anything that promises money is a scam. I asked, what about money managers? You said that’s a scam too because you can make more by purchasing an index fund. I didn’t have a clue what you were talking about so I asked questions, and we ended up talking about the S&P 500. You fully explained everything the way you always do, never talking down to me. I couldn’t help grinning at you because you’re brilliant. Then you were suspicious and wanted to know why I was grinning. I wasn’t making fun of you. I love our strange conversations.

September 10, 2014

We are painting the living room. I appreciate that when I make up my mind to do something, you go along with it. You help me out. I don’t think other husbands are like that. Plus, you have a special painting skill since you can paint straight lines by hand.

Today I asked if you would make me a cake. You looked at me like I was crazy. And then you made me a cake.

September 12, 2014

Today I ducked into a fast food restaurant to go to the bathroom. While you were outside a homeless man asked you for change. You had a dollar and a twenty. You gave him the dollar, and felt bad about not giving him the twenty, but that was your lunch money. When I came out of the bathroom you were standing in line with him to buy him a burger. I’m not sure if he was uncomfortable with silence or if he was just glad to have someone to talk to, but he babbled and told us about living in an abandoned house, making sure his bike was locked up because he’s had it stolen, and how really needs a bike because he hurt his back. He mentioned how hard it was to ask for help, and he couldn’t be prideful because he needed help. He was really thankful for the meal and said he hadn’t been helped out in awhile.

Later, right after we left him, you smiled at me and said you were glad that I didn’t mind that you give money to homeless people. I had just been thinking how proud I was that you do.

September 21, 2014

Today, driving home from dinner, you told me that if you had the option to marry me all over again, you would do it.