Ear Candle Ick Factor

I have problems with my left ear. I once couldn't hear out of it for two weeks. The idiot doctor I went to see told me it was an infection and put me on antibiotics. When those weren't working, she put me on even stronger antibiotics. When those didn't work, I went back in and someone else looked in my ear and told me it was EAR WAX!

I'm not even going to go there. Friggin doctors.

Anyway. I found my own solution. When my ear starts acting like it's going to clog up, I grab an ear candle.

You put the little tube of wax in your ear and light it on fire (with a paper plate to catch any drifting embers, of course).

I'm always curious to see what it sucks out afterward. If you are not eating and don't mind checking out some nastiness, take a look:


I cut open the ear candle and took a look. Because I'm a curious person. That my friends, is the wax that was sucked out of the left ear.

Delicious.

UPDATE:

Alright guys, I did a little research and it turns out ear candles are not thought to be effective. The stuff I thought was ear wax may actually just be crud from the candle burning.

Do your own research if you're going to use a candle. Personally, I am a little more skeptical now than I was before, but the ear candles really do work for me. May be the smoke loosens up the wax so that it can fall out later. I don't know. But I'll tell you what I'm NOT going to do: light myself on fire. Because apparently people have.


UPDATE 10/24/14:

It's been over four years later and I still have problems with my left ear. I guess I should be grateful my right ear appears to be fine, but something is seriously wrong with the left.

Those ear candles are expensive and a hassle, so I bought myself a syringe.

I use it just like the doctor's assistant did when my ear was finally cleared out. I run the water in the tub until it's warm (but not too hot, I don't even want to know what a burned eardrum feels like) fill up the syringe, and clear out my ear. Sometimes it take a good 20 times of re-filling the syringe.

I went swimming this summer and I couldn't hear out of my left ear again. It is really irritating being deaf out of one ear. It bugged me the whole day. I went home and decided I was going to take care of it.

I re-filled that syringe at least 100 times. I'm not even exaggerating. I would count in increments of 20 just to keep myself occupied, then push my little ear flap thing and wiggle my ear and try to loosen things, but I was not making any headway. I finally tilted the syringe so that it was at an angle instead of blasting it straight into my ear.

A bunch of crap fell out of my ear. 

A. Bunch. Of. Crap.

I was actually able to pick up a piece that was rock hard and the size of a pencil eraser.

Disgusting. I guess that's why when I was blasting water straight, nothing was happening - it was just hitting that wall of fossilized crud.

But I can hear again. Until next time I guess.