The Boys

People have been asking me how Joseph is doing with his new job and how Micah has been doing in his new environment. So here's an update on the boys.

Joseph is doing well, but it's definitely an adjustment. I love having him home. He runs errands. He cleans. He makes dinner, but he's always done that. When we got our cabinets painted it wasn't a problem that it took four days, because he was home. When my truck needed repair work he took it my favorite, affordable mechanic who is only open Monday - Friday when I'm working. So there are definite pros.

He's continuing to learn. He impresses me with his self-motivation. He is fluent in CSS and HTML, knows some PHP, and is learning Javascript. He has a goal to learn how to build the smart phone apps, and for that he has to learn Java and Objective C (for Android and IOS, respectively). He is so smart and driven, he impresses me every day.

The only con is that we are poor. When half of the household income was snatched away, it was a huge adjustment. It is taking awhile for business to pick up. He did just land a big job so he's busy right now (and that's where the countertop money came from), and he's had projects here and there but nothing consistent. There was a week awhile back were he was a bit short-tempered, which is really uncharacteristic of him, so I could tell that his lack of business at the time was really getting to him. I told him that the slow time should be seen as a blessing - if he was crazy busy, he wouldn't have time to learn the other languages and skills he needs to learn. If he has to find a job eventually, that's fine, but it can take some time to build up a business. I could tell that cheered him up and I felt pretty good about that.

It's a rather strange phenomenon. I don't want him to be upset or unhappy, but if the lack of business hadn't been bothering him, I would have been concerned. If he was happy just sitting on the couch watching TV or playing video games all day, we would have problems. So the fact that he cares about being successful and is really trying makes me feel better. So I don't want him to be upset, but I felt better that he was.

The biggest adjustment for me was getting back into the "poor" mindset. Even before, we chose to live our lives in a way that we had an excess of money. We bought less house than we could have afforded, we don't have car payments, we don't pay for TV, etc. So Joseph's income had pretty much been at our disposal. We saved aggressively, but we could (within reason) buy what we wanted. Drop $70 to install some shelves in the den? Sure. Spend $150 on a paint sprayer to complete some projects? Why not. We would throw it on the credit card, pay it off, and get some nice points. For awhile we had money in the house fund and other little project funds so we could continue in this way, just pulling the money from the designated funds.

The turning point was when I was balancing the checkbook (in my excel spreadsheet) and we couldn't pay off the credit card bill. It wasn't large, only about $500, but that hasn't happened in a long time. And granted, we could have paid it off. We have various emergency funds and car funds and things like that, but the purpose of those funds is to use them for what they're meant for. Don't touch the emergency fund, it's not an emergency. So as punishment, we have to pay interest until the credit card is paid down. It's helped get back into the poor mindset.

We are hosting Thanksgiving this year. I wanted to get these really nice disposable plates instead of normal paper plates (even if we wanted to use real dishes, I don't have enough for 20 people). The nice disposable plates were $1 each. I did not get the fancy plates. Which probably doesn't sound like much to you, but it is life-changing for me. I was very proud of myself.

Another adjustment has been bringing my lunch to work. Do you know how much money you can save when you're not eating out every day? A ridiculous amount. We will go out once a week so that it's not completely restrictive, but that makes Friday a better day than it already is.

So on to Micah. There is a reason I wanted a bigger dog. Because all the little dogs I have known have been in-home pissers. The lady who fostered Micah told me he was potty trained, so I figured he was upset or going through an adjustment period. In an effort to stop him from peeing inside, we decided to make some changes (putting up gates at night so he was in the kitchen - don't worry, we got him a little dog bed), being firm with him, and giving him time. He did, at least, stop peeing on the couches (the leather ones, so they were at least easy to clean), but there was a special spot in the kitchen where he kept peeing - and it was on my curtains! We kept cleaning it up and he kept peeing. I looked online and found different suggestions. I mixed apple cider vinegar (it called for white but I was out), baking soda, dawn dishwashing soap and hydrogen peroxide together and spread it around on the floor. I let it dry while I washed the curtains with the same concoction. I cleaned up the mess (I don't recommend the Dawn for wood floors, you have to scrub it nine times to get it completely up) and it's been three days now and he hasn't peed again. I have my fingers crossed that he has finally adjusted and if that area doesn't smell anymore, he'll quit marking it. If he can go two weeks without peeing, we can take the baby gates down.

The peeing has been the only problem. Other than that he is a sweet dog. He is such a funny little guy. He can be stubborn - if we go on walks and he isn't ready to go back in the house, he will set his feet and refuse to move. He also won't come inside from the backyard when you call him if he's not ready. We joke around that we have a cat that acts like a dog (Lilly, who constantly needs attention), and a dog that acts like a cat.

I think Marley has adjusted as well as she will. She still doesn't like him, but she has stopped hiding in the back room. We set up another baby gate where we put the cat food, and she has just been hanging out in there. But she is back to sitting on top of the pillow on the chaise lounge, which I think of as the Queen spot. She can survey the room from atop her royal perch.

Lilly isn't afraid of Micah. She has pretty much stopped trying to bully him, so I'm hoping that eventually they can be friends. Time will tell. Micah is an old man and not much interested in playing anyway.

Overall life is good. When I'm being a brat and sulking because I am going to have to wait to do the bathrooms (the kitchen isn't even done yet), I think about how much I have and all of my blessings. And scold myself for not doing more to help others. So I'm actually a little excited about a small Christmas. I think it will help get back to the meaning.

I'll probably be a little crazy, since I will have eight houseguests, but that's another story.