Conversations with J

At home, in front of the computer.
Deidre: I found something on Craigslist I want.
J: What is it?
D: This trunk.
J: A trunk?

D: Just remember that you bought poop and dirt today and I am entitled to use money from the house fund too. 

(He bought manure and peat moss for his garden. It was over $50. For dirt and poop.)

J: I'll let you buy that trunk if I can buy another tree.

(He has already bought seven. And has plans for more. I'm not going to have a backyard, I'm going to have a forest.)

D: Deal. (excited) We should high five.

J: (gives a very unenthusiastic high five, grumbles) I would have gotten the tree anyway.

At first I was indignant, but as I reflect on it, it's true. So I got something out of a situation that I wouldn't have...One of my favorite outcomes.

***

In the mall, eating pretzels, chatting away with my love.

D: You neither agreed nor disagreed. I took it for agreement.

J: I did not agree.

D: Let's make a rule going forward that if you don't answer, it is agreement.

J: OK

D: Wait, does this apply for both of us or just you?

J: (gives me a look) Both of us.

D: I move to nullify the rule.

J: (laughs) Alright.

D: This will work to my advantage. It will be ambiguous so I will just do what I want.

J: You would have anyway.